Thursday, February 17, 2011

Gold teeth are so 2006.

Today was the first of my CyberKnife procedures. I had my "fiducial markers" implanted in my liver.

(I still can't believe I am writing this. It sounds like science fiction. I could be making this up for all you know.)

We checked into the hospital at 8 a.m. The procedure involved sedating me with Fentanyl and Versed, then giving me a CT scan to locate the "lesion", then inserting gold pieces about the size of the tip of a pen into the area around my "lesion". They did this with a needle that went deep into my gut, and the gold piece was sort of injected down in there. They put in four, and yow, I really felt the last two go in. Enough so, that even in my drugged state, I demanded more drugs. WHAT A PAIN IN THE LIVER! Later in the day, when we were out and about, I would occasionally complain loudly to Neil, "Neeeeilll....My liv-er HURRRRTS." I got a few looks. I'm sure I sounded like the most high-maintenance wife in the world, complaining so specifically and preposterously.

A few interesting things about today's procedure: One, they tied me down. THEY TIED ME DOWN! My arms were placed over my head, and they used these soft lavender-colored ties to keep my wrists immobile. Then, of course, THEY BLINDFOLDED ME (ok, they covered my eyes with a cloth), to protect me from the laser.

So. I spent my morning tied up and blindfolded while solid gold particles were injected into my liver. What did you do?

One other thing. When it was over, the nurse asked me if I remembered what everyone in the room had been saying about me. I couldn't recall. She said, "Oh, we were just all commenting about how you looked so beautiful lying there, hair fanned out, eyes closed, so still... just like Sleeping Beauty."

Now THERE'S an interesting twist to that fairy tale story.


  1. yay! Step one is done. when do you leave for Hawaii?? We need to get together soon- it's been way too long!!

  2. Hm. I'll never look at being tied up and blindfolded the same way again.

    You're awesome, Shel. Thanks for the update. Surely a little gold can solve any problem??

    Rooting for you, as always....xoxo

  3. Do you want the medical staff fawning about your (obvious) beauty when your tied up and blindfolded... mmmm, no.
    Job, people, you have a job to do!
    Great post, thank you for sharing with such wise humor.