I know it's been a while since I posted. I can't explain it, I just felt uninspired to write. Or maybe, to be more precise, I felt uninspired to write about THE C-WORD. And that's sort of what this blog has been about, hasn't it. Yet one day, I suddenly felt "over" the whole cancer thing. It's not gone from my life now, but I didn't need to talk about it ad nauseum anymore.
So now maybe I'll just shift the focus of this blog. A little about cancer, a lot about normal life.
NORMAL LIFE. What does that even mean now? I have a new "normal".
Life IS starting to feel like it's getting back to normal. Not going to chemo every two weeks really helps. Because, man, when you're doing that, when you're in the throes of those bi-weekly poisonings, you're constantly reminded of what's "wrong" in your life. Little reminders everywhere... feeling sick. Doctor visits. Concerned calls from friends (you always talk about cancer, then if there's time left, you might talk about other, normal "life" stuff.) Feeling too tired to take your whining kids to the park. Even the good ol' U.S. Mail reminds you, as you receive several medical bills or insurance statements every day, tucked in with the occasional personal letter. Just when you start to forget about that big lousy thing in your life, SOMETHING will yank your focus back in and remind you. You never make it a day. Not even an hour, really.
But that's starting to change.
It feels like a luxury to have a mind clear enough to think about something other than cancer. To have a life healthy enough to be able to focus on small, insignificant things. And it's a luxury to feel ready to write about something other than cancer.
Now I just need a topic. Cancer's a tough act to follow. "AND FOR MY NEXT TRICK, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...."