Why, yes! AND, they're also my latest ailment. That's right, on top of everything else, I've learned I have shingles, too. As annoying as it might seem, me developing yet another condition, I was actually glad to hear the news. I'd been frustrated by the fact that, for weeks, I was in miserable pain. My back and neck were just on fire, and nothing seemed to help. I'd wake up and rub them for hours in the night. It made no sense, these extreme muscle aches, but I just figured it was part of the hellride, get used to it.
Then, I noticed some of the front of my hair started falling out. I wasn't on chemo at the time, so that didn't make sense.
THEN, I developed a rash on my head. It looked like someone whacked me with a krobar. After 10 days, I visited the dermatologist, and voila. Shingles. So that explains everything. (Except the hair...?)
I think that last chemo I was taking, Irinotecan, was the devil. Not only did it not work, it gave me the worst crop of side effects I've ever had. (Ulcer. Shingles. etc.) With Folfox, even though it's downright torturous for me to receive, it doesn't wreak too much havoc on my life when I'm off it. I like the 2-week interludes. Life feels almost normal then! Truly.
Today my son turned 5. Milestones like this inevitably make a slice of me wonder "how many more will I live to see"-type things. Ptth. Not fun. I don't feel particularly stalwart right now. Where's my resolve? How have I let it slip?
Sunday is Easter. Monday I head back to Ohio for spring break. I need to focus on my health again. Mind/body/spirit. Find my game face. Where'd it go? I feel I've been off in the weeds this past month. I feel all over the board. I've never felt this scattered in my approach to fighting this disease. I don't know why.