Well, the PET results weren't so great. I have three active "tumor" sites, all small, none new, but nonetheless, they're there. Yep.
So, there's one tiny spot in my lower left lung, one tiny spot in the liver duct, and a little patch of "chest nodes" next to my lung, which have grown slightly since the last scan. All of this means that my current chemo regimen isn't working anymore, and I have to switch to a new type of chemo, stat. I will start right after I return from Ohio in the first week of January. I was hoping for a bit more of a break than 3 weeks, but I also don't want to lose any ground.
So far I've done a total of 24 months of chemo. Isn't that INSANE? Imagine that: two years. Shouldn't I at least win a Purple Heart, or receive diplomatic immunity, or something? COME ON. I'm really proud of my little body for holding it together so well. Sure, there's been some collateral damage (my abdomen looks like a shark bit me, my hair's getting weird, I'm too skinny [no, it's not as cool as you'd think], my nose bleeds every day, I can't really feel my feet anymore, I'm constantly cold, I lack my normal energy levels, etc.) But I can't complain. Many people tell me they'd never know I was on chemo at all. (Now I sound like I'm bragging. No one wants to read a braggart's blog. Even if the writer has mutant colon cells growing in far-off organs.) All of this is really just a way of saying that I know I can handle more challenges.
I'm determined as ever to shrink this cancer. My body feels strong. (As I keep mentioning.) My resolve is intact. Sure, I'm frustrated (as hell), baffled at this latest turn, scared at times, terrified at others. But, and maybe it's just the holiday season, the bulk of my time has been spent filled with gratitude and good cheer about the many thing that ARE going right in my life. My kids, alone-- I love being alive.
AND THAT'S WHY I'M FUCKING DETERMINED.
Tomorrow, we head back to Ohio for Christmas. I cannot wait to go. We're going to have a terrific time. I'll deal with this shinola when we return. Onward ho.