As I was getting ready to go to chemo yesterday, I came upon this quote:
"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."
I thought, "Wow, I love that sentiment. The idea that each day is a chance to start everything over, and that we have the power to decide if it's going to be a typical, ho-hum day, or if we will choose to elevate it into an extraordinary day. And by "extraordinary", it doesn't have to be flashy, it could be a day of restful, simple, pure happiness."
Then I thought about the fact that I was leaving for chemo in 10 minutes. "But how can I truly apply it to today, of all days? I'm headed to the slaughterhouse. To chemo. Come on. Best day of the year? Bit of a stretch there."
But then I thought about it more. "Sure, it's a suckass day. In some ways. But think about life outside the hospital doors. I have a new, beautiful home. My daughter is in an excellent school. I have a happy, wonderful marriage. I have loads of family and friends to help us with childcare and other things. All my bases are covered. The weather is sunny. And ok, YES, I will be in chemo, true. But, I'm pretty lucky I have access to this amazing doctor and to these medicines that are ultimately making me get better." It's kind of my choice to view chemo and this day as a burden or as an opportunity.
So I headed off to to chemo not with the usual grey-cloud feeling, but instead with this feeling of sun poking through the clouds. There were still clouds. But also the sense of possibility.
And I don't know if it was my improved attitude, or the acupuncture, or both, but today (Friday), as I lie in bed with my chemo infuser pumping poison into me, I don't feel as sick as usual, and I've even been eating today. No barfing at all yet.
Who knows what it is, precisely, that makes a person better? I do know this: Your state-of-mind and your attitude are hugely important in keeping you well. And you can control that.