Monday, April 11, 2011

See Spot. See Spot Burn.

The found a spot in my lung on my last CT scan. They can't tell from a CT scan if it's cancer, or just a weird spot. It's located right on the site of my former tumor. There's a CHANCE it could just be healing scar tissue. But I kinda think it's probably a little cancer growing back, cancer that never really died.

To find out what this spot is, I've got a PET scan scheduled this Wednesday.

If it is in fact more of the shit-for-brains cancer, I'll likely get radiation. Heck, maybe more CyberKnife! It'll be nice to don the ol' CK track suit again. (If only that meant "Calvin Klein tracksuit".)

As for my spirits, I feel rather calm about things. After a brief initial freakout, of course. I'm getting adept at handling less than optimal news. A skill I wish none of you have the occasion to acquire. I am fully aware that this is all happening, but it doesn't ruin my day by any means, and in fact, for a good part of the day I sort of forget about it. Then I remember, and a slight cloud reappears. But overall, I feel happy and healthy as hell, and I find myself laughing and "being Shelly" as much as I ever have. And these are the reasons I am not hysterical.

1- If it's cancer, it's tiny.
2- CyberKnife works on lungs. And CyberKnife works.
3- This wouldn't be NEW cancer. It's on an old site. New cancer is scary cancer. (wait: does that mean old cancer is friendly cancer?) HELLS NO.
4- This sucker is not going to kill me.

So there's the 3-minute update. I'll let you know when I know what the plan is from here. Perhaps I will know by Wed night. I hope so, because on Thursday morning I'm headed to Georgia for the wedding of one of my favorite people on this planet, Y'ALL.

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