What a load of crap

This morning I had a detailed conversation about feces with a complete stranger.

(No, not my kids. that would not be out of the ordinary or worth mentioning here.)

I met with an nutritionist, to talk about healthy ways of eating when you have a colon that's 10 inches shorter than it used to be. I used to eat so healthily! Whole grains! Fresh, raw juices! Legumes! Fresh fruits and veggies! Nuts! Booze! Cadbury Mini-Eggs and Skittles!

But that stuff all wreaks havoc on a short colon, it turns out. I've actually been advised (during chemo, especially, but also after) to eat junk that breaks down really easily in your body, like white bread. And to cook my veggies to oblivion. To cut my veggie portions waaay back, etc.

It's like the opposite of what you long-colon-folks (LCFs) are supposed to do. You lucky people. You and your long, long colons. Go ahead and eat an entire cup of raw broccoli! See if I care.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go boil some peas for 45 minutes.