Part 1: written two days ago, Wednesday, just before I went into chemo:
"What a great week. So much fun with friends and family lately. Nights out sans kids! Lunch dates! Cousin time! Girlfriends! Long personal emails and even letters! Neil and I are just generally feeling really glad about life.
I have chemo this afternoon (cue the Darth Vadar entrance music), and golly, I'm ready to make it THE BEST CHEMO EVER. I may get those last 4 words tattooed on my neck.
Here's the drill this week: In an effort to figure out the cause of these allergic reactions, my doctor is going to withhold my long-acting anti-nausea meds. Perhaps THEY are the culprit. So, just chemo, no anti-barf medicine.
Now let's think about this. If anti-nausea drugs ARE the culprit, I'll get to enjoy a regular old chemo. No shaking. No pain. No falls in the hospital! (Long story---let's just say my hindquarters are still purplish-yellow, which should look neat in Hawaii next week.) However, I will also get to experience a nausea like I've never known.
And, if the drugs aren't the culprit, it'll be another night of Satan visiting my hospital room.
Either way, the next few days will be "really something!"
PART TWO, WRITTEN TODAY, FRIDAY, IN THE MIDST OF CHEMO:
Mother hell. How did I muster those exclamation points? Who was that chirpy girl scout who hacked into my blog? How could that perky female possibly inhabit the same tattered shell of a human as this pasty, queasy, misanthrope who writes you now?
To bring you up to speed: I don't think I had an allergic reaction this time. But it still felt icky. Pain meds required. When the dust settles, we'll figure out what happened.
A lesson: getting chemo without anti-nausea drugs WILL make you barf your brains out. All over your bed, floors, etc. The silver lining is the hospital staff cleans it all up for you. And then, you get to go home and have no desire to touch food for days. This may be the most effective yet difficult crash diet for Kauai ever invented.
Don't worry. The girl scout will return. She always does.
I actually really miss her.