Friday, March 16, 2012


Part 1: written two days ago, Wednesday, just before I went into chemo:

"What a great week. So much fun with friends and family lately. Nights out sans kids! Lunch dates! Cousin time! Girlfriends! Long personal emails and even letters! Neil and I are just generally feeling really glad about life.

I have chemo this afternoon (cue the Darth Vadar entrance music), and golly, I'm ready to make it THE BEST CHEMO EVER. I may get those last 4 words tattooed on my neck.

Here's the drill this week:  In an effort to figure out the cause of these allergic reactions, my doctor is going to withhold my long-acting anti-nausea meds. Perhaps THEY are the culprit. So, just chemo, no anti-barf medicine.

Now let's think about this. If anti-nausea drugs ARE the culprit, I'll get to enjoy a regular old chemo. No shaking. No pain. No falls in the hospital! (Long story---let's just say my hindquarters are still purplish-yellow, which should look neat in Hawaii next week.) However, I will also get to experience a nausea like I've never known.

And, if the drugs aren't the culprit, it'll be another night of Satan visiting my hospital room.

Either way, the next few days will be "really something!"


Mother hell. How did I muster those exclamation points? Who was that chirpy girl scout who hacked into my blog? How could that perky female possibly inhabit the same tattered shell of a human as this pasty, queasy, misanthrope who writes you now?

To bring you up to speed: I don't think I had an allergic reaction this time. But it still felt icky. Pain meds required. When the dust settles, we'll figure out what happened.

A lesson: getting chemo without anti-nausea drugs WILL make you barf your brains out. All over your bed, floors, etc. The silver lining is the hospital staff cleans it all up for you. And then, you get to go home and have no desire to touch food for days. This may be the most effective yet difficult crash diet for Kauai ever invented.

Don't worry. The girl scout will return. She always does.

I actually really miss her.


  1. oh shel. thank God for the girl scout, and for all of those life blessings that you listed that shower your life in the in-between times. Chemo without the nausea meds sounds deplorable. I am not sure what to hope for next but know I very much treasure your honesty re: the light & dark, and your fortitude. Hawaii, here you come.

  2. The girl scout is really only welcome when coupled with the realist. Although I do like her from time to time. Sorry about barfing. Hoping a good plan materializes with your expert learning from this last plan.

    Oh Hawaii, come and get Shel fast. And no tsunami this time. Hawaii--you listening? That was an order.

    Love you, Shel.

  3. I still have a few blue bracelets left...I am bringing them to Indy. We will get more Lady power on your side. I might get a few Lords to wear them, too. :) Hugs. Bring back the Girl Scout before you get to Hawaii.