Hoping for 5 months cancer-free

In case you are wondering what my next steps are, I have a PET scan this Friday morning. If it's clear, I'll have been in remission for FIVE months. Baby steps, baby steps.

Am I nervous/scared? I'm trying not to think about it too much. I think it's going to be clear. I hope. God, I hope.

I don't think I'll really be able to exhale and totally relax til about 5 years pass without recurrence. But that's a ways off, so I'm just trying really hard to be grateful for each day that passes.

I've been done with chemo now for about 8 weeks. I have tons more energy. I'm occasionally bowled over by how lucky I've been, and other times I freeze up with fear about it coming back. I kind of feel like I just returned from a war and am slowly processing all that has happened. I think I have mild PTSD. But in general, I feel a little more normal each day.

As far as medicine goes, I still get bi-weekly Avastan injections for a full year. It's relatively quick (30 min) and has practically no side effects. Well... relative to chemo, that is. I still have high blood pressure and occasional bloody noses. A walk in the park.

So there's the quick status check. I'll let you know how things turn out. CROSS FINGERS, TOES, EYES, ETC.